janette

and eating whatever I darn well pleased, I am saddened and wondering if it is really possible to stop the yo-yo effect and consistently   stay careful to eat what my body needs instead of medicating with food when under stress!

Well at least I am here. The last time I found having to plug in what I ate into the computer, very time consuming and well tedious. So somehow need the support and accountability without that extra step. if possible. Maybe I could use another sheet to tally calories and plug in the total at the end of the day. Hmm. Would welcome any ideas.

At least I weighed in and started to take vitamin supplements and eat a healthy lunch, instead of driving all over trying to think of what would fill my craving for something different or sweet.

Lord, this, as usual is a plea for your help.

 Gained weight again, for a total of 8 lbs as of today. Well, I spent another week at school for a summer intensive. I always get tired and eat in class to keep alert, and then I get stressed from not being able to go home and chill out since I am staying with a friend. It is nice to stay with my friend, I couldnt ask for a better sweeter hostess, it’s just that it isnt home. Anyway she knew I was coming and she baked me a cake! My fav: vanilla pound cake. I am probably wearing it now. Arggh! I wish I could stay focused but this happens to me a lot and is soo discouraging. You can’t give up however. So I keep stumbling forward trying to get back where I can be steadfast OP for more than 2 hours.

Now I am packing to leave for vacation at the beach. Yes, I will be in a bathing suit with my skinny friend & her husband who are going with us. At least I weigh less than last summer. I usually do OK because we exercise so much. But this is not where I wanted to be.  Need to come up with a new plan of attack when I get back, get some accountability or something.

Spent last 10 days witht my family in Ky. No, didn’t eat fried chicken but did eat the fried okra and catfish. I found a pool where ever I was and managed to work out four times ( 45 minutes of laps) and stayed the same.

However I have learned to be careful that if I am overeating: a dessert here and there, a extra hearty helping of carbs, etc. that soemtimes I weigh and think. Wow, I can do this and not gain weight so I keep it up. Then all of sudden there is several pounds popped up on the scale, sometimes even after I am trying to do good to make up. Scared me! The scale can trick you into thinking you can do it and then it sneaks up on you and WHAM! 3-5 lbs in one day. And it stays, it is not water weight. Well any way after my last experience I am really trying to get back on track quickly today! I had hoped to lose at least 35 lbs  ( I had lost 27 by April 10)by August 10 (our annual trek to the beach) but now I am trying to get back to  just losing the next 5 lbs to get to what I weighed in April. Sigh.  Well, I’m still here and still picking myself out of the pit and trying to take another chunk out of the mountain.

Have done OK today, lot’s to do after returning from being gone.

Savor your victories, buddies, and forget the defeats and keep on chipping away!

Well I have lost three lbs since Mon. but this was a hard week. And it’s not like I starved, its just felt like it, so matter what I ate or drank for some reason I am tired and hungry. BUt at least I lost the 3 lbs! I am grateful for those of you who wrote and supported my renewal. I have decided to only log in twice a week on line. I am wrting all my points down in some old WW flexpoint journals I had lying around. This is my attempt at better time managment, not to get” lost “on the computer all the time!

Well, I managed to stay OP all day and writie everything down. I feel like I am starting all over again. Like getting really tired and dealing with the cravings. But its not like I am deprived, just trying to get off sugar. It is killing me My daughter put a choc cake with fudge icing in my freezer. Right now it is calling my name…Ja-a-a-ne-eyet. We will see how it goes, does the craving win or can I go to bed and fall asleep without it?

I have not wanted to post this wiehgt but there is is for tow weeks straight. 7 lbs add. Yuk. Have not been writing stuff down. Kept telling my self I was too busy and it takes so lone to logg on and type in all that stuff. Today I got back on track and wrote it all down. OK,  now you got to keep it up every day until you lose this again. I have been moving into the danger zone of denial and “trying”. Trying doesnt work. I just have to do it! OK so back on the track for one day, let’s make it two, tomorrow.

Finally I am back for a while. It has been hectic with School and trips this last month. We had a great month of celebrating our 25th. I would love to add pictures but it takes too long to downsize them so they fit and I have thank you notes and papers to write, and a house to clean etc. It have not been adding my claories and the wieght has slowed down. When I am not focused I find myself getting hungry and going back to my old thoughts…like,,Hmmm what am I in the mood for right now? Rather than what can I eat that is healthy and fits in with my program. Anyway, I did start trying to log in today, gave away a bunch of chocolates still left over…then found myself back in the old eat without thining mode, there was a bowl of rice pliaf that I just finished off absent mindedly. Sigh. I am happy about the loss but if I am to keep it off I must regain focus quickly. It is easy to justify one or tow lbs when you have lost around 25. You tell yourself, it wont matter, the old self decpetion creeps back in and then 5 lbs and then you are defeated again. Shew, it is soo hard to stay on track right now. But I am praying and writing down my claories todya. PTL.

Yesterday i went to try on some new pants. I needed something casual and transitional. I tried on a pair of 12W and they fit great! I just about went into shock. Now I know the size is relative, but I always shop the same place for pants, when they have a sale ( Talbot’s, I can always find something that fits and is the right length). They are having a lot of sales recently, too. I could not believe it the size change in three months. I have gone from a 16-18W to a 12 W, in that particular style. I attribute it to the swimming I have been doing. The other times I have lost weight ( yes there are many, I am the Queen of YoYo Land), I have never lost inches like that. I must say that I am very grateful.

rn

Now I had to go and try on old pants that I had saved this AM. The ones where I am at least 10 lbs lighter are still tight, but the ones from last summer that were comfortable 15 lbs heavier are literally falling off of me. The lesson is that I still have a long way to go and the hardest part is still ahead of me: long term maintanence at my goal weight. I hope the swimming will help my arms, they are long and flappy like my Cocker Spaniel’c ears!

rn

Anyway I am rejoicing at the encouragement of the smaller pants while reminding myself to keep focused and not get sloppy with eating…right now I am under so much stress and my ADD is making me almost crazy…but I am holding on the Lord for strength to make it through the  next two weeks and not give up exercise, which is what i have always done before.

Well, I am one pound shy of 25 lbs! I cant beleive it. Walking all day ( we walked and gawked) on vacation  and then starting the swimming again when we returned last week, seemed to do the trick. I still have a long way to go, but want to be more peaceful about the scale. I still do not feel deprived on this diet of 1200 calories, so far. I love swimming laps, I had no idea I would enjoy swimming again so much and feel so good because of it.

My husband took me on a dream vacation during  my Spring Break for our 25th. We flew to Brussels, Belgium ( where I actually turned down 90% of the offers for the chocolate samples, we bought a lot of it to take home and it sits in my fridge where it has called my name on a couple times. This is a victory I can only give credit to the Lord.) We walked around Brussels in the rain the first day. After that the weather was great. We took the high speed train to Paris for 4 days and walked everywhere. I think that is reason I actually lost weight, since I pretty much ate what I wanted. The only problem I had  was the shoes I bought for the trip that I thought werer so comfortalbe ( little Sketchers flats with a velcro Mary Jane strap) did not give me enough support and I started to have some real pain while walking. Finally after going to every pharmacy and trying to communicate with feverish gestures what I wanted in vain, finally we located a shoe repair shop and they sold the type of insoles I needed to help, what  a relief and answer to prayer that was!  Anyway we saw lots of churches but the windows on my site are from the Notre Dame cathedral. We then went back to Belgium and went to Antwerp ( the diamond capital of the world) where my husband bought me a new ring for our 25th. ( I had lost my diamond last month). Anyway, we had a wonderful time got lots of pictures, but I was glad to get back to my own little bed in my own home. I am looking forward to getting back on track as I have not been to the pool in two weeks now and I miss my exercise.  I am so happy I lost that weight before I went on vacation. My walking problems would have been so much worse and insoles would have not been the answer. I didnt know until  7 days before we left that we were going, but God knew, and  he helped me so I wouldnt be so self conscious about all my pictures or having a worse  time doing all the walking.